Today I was absolutely busting for a shit all day at work and my manager kept walking behind me. It was infuriating. Finally I got to leave and I got stuck behind the god damn school traffic in front of my house for at least half an hour and things nearly went south. Luckily I made it home in time. [link]

Here I sit, my spirits drooped,/ Meant to fart, instead I pooped.

Today was the day, I knew it when I awoke and I spent the better part of the day preparing myself. I could hardly wait. When the time finally came I removed all my clothes and squatted down in front of my shrine. I pushed. gently at first but gradually ramping up the power until about 2 feet of dark, knobby turdmatter exited my winking butthole. I knelt in front of it. "You are so beautiful" I said. I picked up my malodorous creation and held it like a fragile infant. I softly kissed its sticky brown surface until my appetite could no longer be controlled. I wolfed down my massive poop like a stoned college student at a free, all-u-can-eat taco bell buffet and when I was finished there was only one thought in my mind as I licked the chocolate doodoobutter from my fingers "wow! It's much better the third time around, I cant wait until tomorrow!"

Hubby doesn't get my fascination with poop. I was constipated for a long time and now that I'm finally going on a regular basis I get way too excited. I've had explosive diarreah the past few days which have NOT been fun...damn my reaction to caffeine! :( But I love a good shit where it just all comes out at once and you're done! I laughed so hard this morning at these posts LOL. poop is awesome.

I am still not sure if there is something to make of these strange poops that involve an initial hard "cork" followed by a long flow of diarrhea. Are they named? May I adventure into fecal taxonomic science and throw caution to the wind and just declare them Encorkated Diarrhea?

I would like to jar this particular cloud of poo steam I have trapped beneath my comforter. It has a sweetness to it, not unlike Splenda-infused air. I wish to savor this at another time. Well, I moved and that succulent stench swam away. The anus giveth and the atmosphere taketh away...

I HAVE OFTEN WONDERED HOW A GREAT SMELLING, DELICIOUS DINNER OF BEEFSTEAK, B-RED POTATOES, LIMA BEANS AND SALAD TRANSFORMS INTO A EVIL SMELLING, PUTRID, HILARIOUS KNOBBY BROWN TUBE OF NASTINESS.

Also took a skunk stinking dump the other day. Wonder what food combos result in that particular stench .

It is possible and have done it before. I caution any of you who try it though. The fire will ignite the gas but your anus, when clenching after the fart, might suck the gas plus fire back inside. It is not an enjoyable. I always ignite through a pair of bvd's.

Last night Katrina and I shared a pint of Crown Royal, and this morning we woke up and took identical-smelling shits. Like, wow.

My farts are so frequent and smell so bad tonight that my wife cancelled sex and plans to sleep on the couch. A mix of sulphur & skunk, with a healthy dose of poo, at a rate of one fart every 3 minutes.

If I have the time, I love taking a dump at work - at least you get paid for it! I'm not a happy bunny at the moment. I'm not constipated but I've got a bottleneck at the exit and it won't come out. I've tried several times but it just keeps accumulating there. It's uncomfortable. I can't wait to get rid of it all!

What really gives me a lot of stinky gas are jamba juice drinks. I guess it must be from all the carbohydrates or something. Whenever I have one on my break at work, I begin farting on the sales floor within half an hour. When a customer has a questions and says "Excuse me, sir . . .", I want to say back, "No excuse ME!"

taking another shit-oh-two-eleven. this one is pretty well formed, but smelly.